“Do the thing you fear the most and fear will disappear, do the thing you fear the most and fear will disappear” One more time Mathy.
I’ve heard this quote a thousand time but still can’t remember where it came from. Yes, fear is that truly uncomfortable feeling you feel in the pit of your stomach right before venturing the unknown. For the most part, in my case, THAT means Everything!
I did 6 very uncomfortable things on Friday. 6 things I would rather not do again. I contacted 4 colleges and universities to talk about potentially delivering career transition stories. Then I also followed up on two local newspapers I had previously tried to join for a press release. I got no joy on the second. I almost have to reevaluate whether I was making sense. “Well how is that uncomfortable?” you ask.
The only other person that knew and understood my agony more than anyone was my stomach. Yeah, my stomach’s name is Eddie. And for the first 10 min Eddie growled in all possible languages. Yet, if Eddie could talk, it would speak fluent Japanese with all the incorporated kanji symbols. At worst he didn’t embarrass me and make funny noises in the middle of my cold calling. I know he will be growling again next week and the next time I have to pick up the phone or send an e-mail to the unknown.
My personal motivation is that in 2-3 months I will have more regular gigs for career transition stories. I guess my body is rejecting this unnatural experience. Almost as if receiving a vaccine. I know it’s good for me but “I’m bloody Afraid”!!!
As they say it takes 14 days to build a habit. For it to become normal and acceptable to your mind, you must actively do it for 14 days.
Sorry but that’s a lot of rubbish. I think you get use to it but that doesn’t automatically eradicate the fear I think it will take a little longer for the fear to disappear. Like six month maybe. That doesn’t mean you wont know the fear was there in the first place.
So let’s make sure the next time you feel fearful of something take consistent action and maintain it until you feel it is a normal part of you. Until you know longer have the regurgitating feeling inside your stomach. So how about we change that sentence a little bit “Do the thing you fear a little bit, everyday until it feels comfortable and then it will dissolve.” Maybe not disappear.
What motivates you right now when faced with fear? Is it -
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Money or the lack of it
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Inferiority complex
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Status or the lack of it
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Daily necessities food and clothes
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A place to live or a better one
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Relationship or the loss of it
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Happiness
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Fear of Failure
Excellent post Mathy. Fear does play a massive part in what we do or what we avoid. I think overcoming it involves doing the activities that we fear but also doing them well. If you’re scared of public speaking and you do 4 public talks and they all get heavy criticism, then in likelihood your fear levels won’t have got any better. But if you do those public talks in a very supportive environment and get positive, constructive criticism, then chances are you’ll feel a lot happier about public talking.
Thank you Alistair as they say in French little by little the bird makes his nest. Fear needs to be dealt one chunk at a time.
Fear is undoubtedly a great motivator – and can work in both directions. It either scares us off or brings out our inner strength to overcome it.
I know you’re aware of the Susan Jeffers book – “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. This really helped me many years ago in a difficult situation. And putting its ideas into practice also enabled me to get together with my wife.
Another quote that sticks in my mind is the one on fear from “Dune” by Frank Herbert. It goes:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
What a superb comment and quote Graham. wow how even dealing with fear helping you to meet your wife. Amazing!! More so I love that last thought from Frank Herbert. Just Powerful.