RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: June 2011

Procrastinator? Yes! Than you are a lameassbird

Lame A-Bird

Lame A-Bird

 

I will start this post with 1 word 5 syllables  Pro-cra-sti-na-tion.

My most revered enemy. Sorry for keeping you waiting I was having computer troubles at exactly 12 noon today(or should I say yesterday as we are now Wed) when I was about to put this post up. My computer screen decided to freeze on me. Why above all days, at all times? I don’t know? I shall ask that question to the screen the next time I see it.

Still I could have done better you know. It started with sleeping late. Then I’d get distracted by whatever was happening outside the house, then being too tired the next morning to do anything. Then more distraction And now I’m slowly realising I have mountains of work to do which as left me feeling slightly overwhelmed.

The usual stuff, when you Pro-Cra-Sti-Nate. But seriously, how many times do you say to yourself” I will do this project tomorrow” but the first thing you do is talk about it and talk about it,and talk about it some more but you haven’t actually done anything yet. Please don’t pretend, You know it’s true. I bet you, that to do list that hangs up on your fridge, with the ten items you were supposed to do last week, still hasn’t been completed.

You’ll probably tell me “Mathy I got work to do, and I have a job, I haven’t got the time, or there’s not enough time in the day to do all of that” and I will say ” RUBBISH” quit making excuses and do it.

You know it took me 6 years to take action and change career direction. But it also cost me. I wished I had taken action sooner. As I feel my circumstances have speed-up the process towards the change. Not that I didn’t know what I wanted to do.However for 6 years I have been procrastinating. Yes!! I put my hand up. I own up to my lame-ass-bird. I realise that I allowed other people to tell me how to be live and to conform to whatever social norm was acceptable.

Damn! Was I stupid ? I should probably write it on my forehead. “lame-ass-bird”. It wont help either way I’ve already  done the deed. let’s just hope someone learns from my mistake.

I don’t know about you but I feel it’s pointless to make so many plans and achieve so little. Should you have any long-term goals? Of course? Just don’t dwell on them try to live in the Now. In the moment that you exist in. It makes life so much liberating and so much easier. If I was you I’d make that decision right now to go and get that list, in the kitchen, on your fridge and forget all the reasons you can’t and do it now. Don’t be a lame-ass-bird like me, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?

 

 

Third Career – from Photographer to E-Marketer

Jeremy Walker

Jeremy Walker

It’s a Saturday morning and I have a 11.30 am appointment with Jeremy Walker owner of Degas Guruve, an e-marketing company that achieves result on the web through website and e-solution.It’s quiet sunny and in my excitement of my meeting with Jeremy I almost forget that our appointment was in LWS and not Cafe Nero. I bump into Jeremy  and we walk to LWS cafe.

Jeremy is a very creative and fun character to be around also very relaxed. Whilst sketching in his notepad Jeremy was inspired by David Guruve to name his company.

Jeremy has been through two recessions one in 1993 and the other in  2007. His first career started as a photographer for ten years but the recession on 1993-1994 made him move into motor finance. He went from an entry role, to Manager, to Business Analyst and was their running a number of projects.

Just as he started his new project, one morning at a local theater one of the CEO made an announcement, that the company were not doing well financially and that they would me closing down a number of offices. Through the process of his job-loss Degas guruve was born.

I will say no more and let you listen to the audio.

Jeremy and I
Jeremy and I

Interview with Jeremy Walker

Jeremy Walker lives in Crystal Palace he is the owner of Degas Guruve Limited.If you are a small or large company and you need e-marketing advice You can contact Jeremy at www.degasguruve.com

Awkward Moment-The business adviser

 

I went to see a business adviser!!

I know, great right!? Not really. First my appointment was in Islington and I live all the way in South London and I took the overground which took an hour. Then when I got out the station it was 3:52pm I had less than 10 mins to make it to my appointment on time and to my surprise adviser’s office was more than 10 mins away. So I started jogging with my heavy Wellington boots, rain jacket and brolly.

This is the scene in the movie where you think “she’s going to trip!!!!” and No! Not yet. At least not physically.

So I get to the advisers office, my appointment was 4pm it is now 4 mins past four. It’s already starting to feel slightly awkward as it would if you were late. The receptionist is very pleasant, I sign-in and she directs me to the lift and says” 3rd floor and wait for your adviser”

Pre-meeting – on the train

I was a little excited and thought I’ put a lot of questions together for him to answer. Even a little hand-written presentation of my business venture. I had a lot of things to say I.e.

  • Will I get a business mentor?

  • How can I raise money to get new equipment?

  • I need someone to assist me with my blog design

  • I’d like to have a film-crew

  • How can I get someone to help me proofread

  • I just need support please help me “MR Business adviser”

Well there’s more but I don’t want to bore you with the details.

By the lift -

Third floor, I look out and nobody!? No adviser! So I wait a few second before I start wondering around like a curious 5-year-old in a sweet factory. Then I hear;

” Are you here to see the adviser?

Yes!

Please follow me”

So I follow this tall long-legged, blonde lady, who walks like she’s on the catwalk. I was very close to asking her if she was actually.  When we get to the adviser’s office she asks me to sign in again and gives me a badge, then wait some more. The Business-adviser comes in shakes my hand, then escorts me into another room.

Okay guys this is my moment and I’m ready to blow him away! But Before I start, he has to tell me all the legalities and the things he can do for me and then he starts -

“Here at Business support we help start-up business who have already been registered or been running for a while. So please tell me about yourself.”

So you don’t help Pre-start then!?”

“No but we have a program called DWP that we can put you on to help you. But since you’ve come from all the way from South London let me make your journey worthwhile by answering some of your questions”

Awkward silence………….

“Uhm I don’t know if you might be able to help me as I  am in the early stages of my business but I will tell you my background.” So I tell him all about me with this disappointing feeling in my stomach that he wont help me.

Awkward Mathy!!
Awkward Mathy time to go!!

Then he asks me about my research. How much had been done and being a business adviser he talks me through all the potential no,nos, and by this time I feel so awkward I feel I must have a banner on my face spelling those letters. It almost felt like my execution.

When I left to, keep my spirit up I had to think; “what information did I hear today that might be useful to me”

  • Contact Arts Council for funding

  • Try advertising for volunteers through gumtree

  • Research other storytelling companies thoroughly

It’s not the business adviser’s fault if they can’t help pre-starts like me. I’m not the right candidate for them that’s all. The good news is I’m seeing another Business adviser who’s an existing friend and old colleague this experience should be more encouraging. So wish me the best.

See you later!!

Storytelling at Sparklondon

Tonight I give you two for the price of one!

Yes ladies and gentlemen for your eyes and ears only, this is a one time opportunity to hear both my audio and hear all about my second SparkLondon storytelling event, where I was assisting the organiser but I also had the chance to tell my own stories.

If you google me you will find me on the following website -

http://www.sparklondon.com/

Under latest spark stories

http://www.mixcloud.com/sparklondon/

Seeking Success – Mathy Lisika-Minsende

http://sparklondon.libsyn.com/2011/06/a%20href=%22http:/www.wivetonhall.co.uk/contact.htm

and finally under podcast

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/spark-london/id348365296

This is the audio

Excited an Nervous

Excited an Nervous

Super Cool Grandma

How do you like me?!!

How do you like me?!!

Meet Ernerstine Shepperd, a 74-year-old who is cool, hot and will kick your ass if you don’t do your press-ups. Oh and did I mention she’s a body builder. “Ernerstine, please be my grandma. I promise to do all my press-ups, pleasssssse!”

But seriously, Ernerstine story starts when her and older sister Mildred decided, at age 56 that they would join the gym as they were not happy with their looks. The road to success for two middle-aged lady becoming body-builders. Unfortunately, Mildred died of aneurysm. This loss hit Ernerstine very closely and she vowed to continue the legacy she had promised her sister.

I’ve left a little video for you compliments of YouTube Enjoy!

We all cook rice differently!

Bowl of Rice


No, this post is not about a bowl of rice, fried rice, boiled rice, and basmati rice, Jollof rice or even rice pudding. I’m talking about variety and dealing with loss.

Well at least that’s what my friend Jay said. My first instinctive reaction, was to laugh, I laughed so hard my side hurt. We were having this conversation about being original with our ideas. The need for us as human-beings to have variety .i.e. – you might want to go to the supermarket but you have a choice, in which one you choose to give your money too. So we were comparing businesses which were similar but not the same such as;

  • Sainsbury’s

  • Tesco

  • Asda

  • Waitrose

  • Marks and Spencer

  • Morrison’s

  • Somerfield

  • Iceland

We then talked about people on an individual level. Just imagine if there were 2s Jay or more than one Mathy Lisika. There would be no originality and definitely no individuality. Without that, we are no better than other living organisms. This brings me to the next point. I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters, plus me. We are a family of 9 children, give and take the first cousins. Then I have my step-mum (beautiful on the inside and out) then I have aunties and uncles, first cousins, second, third …..

You know! Typical Congolese family. I don’t apologies for them. They are like a very rich blended smoothie .

So far my process of recovery has been good but for the rest of my family I can’t really say the same.

My step-mum for example- previous job role was wife and carer. She’s been a wife for a long time and a carer for 4 years. She also became the breadwinner besides having being a cancer patient herself. Then one day she loses all of that, when my dad passes-away. Now she doesn’t know what to do with herself. I spoke to her two nights ago as she went back to Africa to see the rest of my family and this was hard enough for her. She still envisions that she will hear my dad’s voice on the phone. That at any moment he will call her.

One of my aunties- who recently lost her husband and brother (my father) is also going through a hard time. In our previous conversation she wasn’t sure how to move on. She said she knows it’s selfish but she almost doesn’t want to move on. Not just intentionally but because she feels she can’t.

My younger sister is also having a hard time letting go. She feels more like she’s under a rock and everyone wants to tell her how to mourn. And  who the hell are they to tell her what to do and how to mourn her lose. We  are all dealing with it differently.

My aunty said” I’m so proud of you and your achievement on the blog” My response is ”I’m just trying to find a way out”. It’s my exit strategy to deal with loss. It keeps me busy and sane.

I found something that I love and honed in on it. It’s hard because every day I want to cry and when the tears slides down my face I can’t hold them. I make time for those tears and I allow them to be expressed the way they want to be expressed and so can you.

 Maybe you can find a hobby which will help you deal with your loss.. Though, technically it’s impossible to erase that thought or feeling completely. But in the mean time you can do something.

It makes me sad that on my good days when I am happy and full of energy, my family is struggling to cope. I almost feel I shouldn’t. Recovery from Job-loss and Personal lose is a process which I accept and fully embrace. No hiding, No pretending this time. What is your process to recovery?

Please share

Having Fun and being Lazy

Time for an infomercial I’m having a break so should you!!

Story of the week Psychotherapist loses his Job

Dennis Gorce Bourge

Denis Gorce Bourge

LIVE INTERVIEW WITH DENIS

It’s a Wednesday  afternoon I have my first interview with Mr Denis Gorce-Bourge. He is a  french psychiatrist, trainer and corporate coach who works internationally. However he hasn’t always been in this role only a couple of years ago Denis was telling me about how he moved to the UK to be able to live freely with his partner who has been married to for 9 years. And only three years ago lost his job in Property management.

I was fortunate enough to record the interview and wanted to share it with you.

When you meet Denis for the first time you realize he is very grounded despite anything he’s ever experienced. There’s a sense of peace and serenity all around him which I noticed as I walked into his house. At the door, him and Margo the dog greeted me graciously. I felt very much expected, as though I was meeting an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in a while.

Me and Margot

We sat outside in his beautiful back garden, with a lovely cup of green tea, delicious little Turkish sweets, and the soft sound of wind chimes bells. Denis spoke softly in a very experienced voice which was very comfortable but also intriguing.

He has been passionate about human behavior since a young age. He went on studying Psychotherapy.

After three years of working for this property management company as a business consultant he was made redundant and left the job instantly. He mentions a slight feeling of fear creeping because his safety net had been taken from him but knew he had to do something very quickly. After going away to think things through he realize it was the opportunity for him to do what he really wanted.

Dennis sees his experience as a blessing in disguise and tells me that it arrived perfectly. “What the world mentality feeds us is upside-down”

Myself and Denis

Denis works from home and travels around the world. He’s based in South East London. You can find him at  http://www.gblifecoaching.com/

If you have difficulty hearing the interview please let me know. Is it difficult to hear? Is it clear enough? I thoroughly enjoyed this interview, I hope you enjoy it too!

New meaning for my current loss

Last night or should I say this morning,

 

  I had an epiphany about this blog and the reason why I write. What is it that I’m learning about myself now? I have the tendency to live fast forward in my future life rather than now. I have also read so many books about the here and now. This is very important otherwise I miss out on what I could learn and feel right this moment right this time.

Anyway I remember seeing my friend Jay do something on her wall on Tuesday when I went to her house. she had these sticky A-3 flip board paper that sticks on the wall without the use of any aid. On these pieces of paper she had ideas and notes for everything her boyfriend, her boyfriend’s dad, her own mum, other friend of hers and hers of course.  All these ideas she had thought about whilst in discussion with them. Jay is truly a “scanner” like me. A scanner is ” a person genetically wired to have more than one interest in life and usually wants to do all of them all at once. I promise to tell you about scanners next time. she was talking to all these people last week and after analyzing their situation she just started writing  and there I was, staring at the result.

So it was 4am, I didn’t have what Jay had but I took the closest thing, an A4 Pukka pad, press stick and I started writing. writing on my wall in red felt tip marker everything came out. I tend to think so much better at night.

  • The first reason that makes me write this blog is my dad’s death through cancer.

  • The second is loosing my job

  • I needed to find me, find something I enjoy and do something different to all of my previous Jobs.

  • Help people who are unemployed, facing job loss or transitioning jobs

  • Using resourceful tips, ideas and real life experience to empower people

That’s it! So I want to get your input on the title of my blog here is a list of tittle which I thought about last night I want to know your input to help me decide which one to use in the future.

 

Becoming a storyteller PRT 2

The Morning of the performance……

Canal Cafe

Canal Cafe

It’s the big day of the performance and I haven’t slept much. I had a strange dream that Freddy Krueger was after me. I hated Nightmare on Elm Streets when I was younger my dubious cousin use to turn off the lights open the windows in our house and make me watch it. This film I scares me. I woke up and realised it was my nerves getting to me.

There was an e-mail from my dad in my inbox it said” Dear friend I invite you to watch a video of Lemmy Lisika on YouTube in memory of our father, uncle and friend” WOW! That’s creepy. Maybe Freddy Krueger is playing a game with me!!!!?? Nah! It has to be someone close, someone I know a common source.

Turns out, it wasn’t nightmare on Elm Street, it was my younger sister Phew!!. I called her and we talked for hours. I was happy for her when she told me she wanted to be a fashionista and asked me to teach her how to blog. I guess am rubbing off after all. So I gave her a brief know how on wordpress, got her to translate it in French format and off she went.

Midday

I needed to loosen up on my overloaded excitement so I went for m

Excited an Nervous

Excited and Nervous

y morning jog . I tidy-up my flat and started baking. My friend asked me on the phone if I baked when I was nervous . The truth is No! I eat when I’m nervous. I’m getting ready to leave the house and still nervous”I don’t want to be late” I panic but I’m okay for time! No rush, no need to worry. Yes! I manage to leave on time. Today I will walk down elegantly I will stroll even. As this is my premiere storytelling night.

Evening………. the big moment

Everything is good, I reach on time and my first three guests are already there. I give my them all a hug, hello and a warm smile and rush upstairs. Everyone is rehearsing so I sit and watch quietly with bubbling excitement. As we are getting closer to the time we gradually see people coming in, The sound man, then the Pianist, the Podcast & video man (Matt) and finally the audience. This empty theater instantly transforms int a saloon with the piano playing in the background.

Now Joanna goes on stage to welcome and introduce the first act. In the back the Storytellers are talking amongst themselves and it is actually making me more nervous so I go somewhere else to see if I can focus.

Stewart goes first, than Habie, and after her its Me. In the backstage just before Habie comes off, Joanna holds my hand as she sees the terror on my face and tells me to breathe. I listen to her voice, this slows down my heart rate and the volcano of emotions in my stomach. Matt asks me if I will be seating or I standing I say both.

I walk on the stage and say “Hi” then I start I stutter a little then take a deep breath and continue. Then I really get into it and at the crucial moment I seat down, finally I finish. Silence, hesitation from the audience and then………….. applauds.

I slowly get off stage trying not to run and tell everyone my accomplishment. “I have told my first story”.

to be continued…………

In the next part of “Becoming a storyteller” you will have the opportunity to see and perhaps hear me in action..

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.